Not Knowing Much

"Have you lost a loved one recently?" a close friend asked me today. His father passed away unexpectedly last night.

The answer is that I haven't, not since Sam, and he was my sister's loved one, not my own. I've written on this topic before, but it reminds me again how lucky and unlikely I've been: four living grandparents (knock wood) and not a single friend lost to disease or accident.

One cousin passed away, Benny, in my sophomore year of college. I took the phone call from my mom. It hit me hard, but maybe not for long enough. He drowned in a shower. He and I would play cards a lot when I was small, in a house in Chile with a cavernous dining hall. We'd eat red chicken watching television in the kitchen on nights when my parents and his dad were out on the town.

Benny's death shook my uncle to the core; he hasn't ever been the same. He still smokes out at his son's grave.

I don't know how I would handle a loss like that, or like my friend's, but, given my history, probably not too well. Here's hoping the best for him and his family and that I can help in whatever small ways are possible.