Column Three

Some of this echoes what I already wrote in my blog, but I thought I would post it here:

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Where am I writing this column?

I could be writing it longhand in a notebook overlooking sometimes-Lake Lagunita. But let’s assume for a moment that I’m on a laptop, and that I require high-speed Internet access to research and procrastinate effectively.

I could be at a coffee shop. A lot of people work in coffee shops nowadays; Starbucks reinvented itself as a place to check your e-mail when it introduced T-Mobile wireless hotspots two years ago, and lots of smaller competitors followed suit. Even McDonald’s is adding wireless Internet access to all its restaurants, with the charming slogan “Bites or Bytes—We Do Both!”

Or, I could be inside an eggshell. But this would require that I be flying Japan Airlines in its new egg-shaped business class seat—redesigned for privacy and comfort, and the ideal way to avoid single serving friends. Several other airlines are introducing wireless Internet access in the sky, including Lufthansa. More would have earlier, but the original venture, called Connexion, lost steam after 9/11 (so did the Concorde, which should have checked with Al Qaeda for scheduling conflicts before holding a public demonstration of its safe return to flight that same September morning.)

I could be at Kinko’s. Kinko’s certainly wants me to be at Kinko’s—it claims to be “your office away from the office”, with no bites required. But frankly, Kinko’s is too much like an office, and not a particularly nice office, for me to want to spend any extra time there (though I did shave at a Kinko’s once. Never again.)

I could be tucked away in a back alley leeching free Internet from an unencrypted source. But this means finding the right alley, which is too time-consuming to be worth it unless you have one of those hotspot tracking devices.

I could be writing while my professor lectures. This is hard in smaller classrooms, but I know at least one person who uses a tablet PC to quietly check e-mail without clicking any keys.

I could be at a municipal park with wireless Internet, like the JFK Park in Cambridge. But when it’s sunny, I can’t see my screen; and this time of year, when it’s not sunny in Cambridge, it’s cold.

I could be at a random motel in western Wisconsin. I’m not, but I did finish a take-home final at one in January. The proprietor was very gracious when I charged into his lobby claiming my paper was an hour overdue; he set me up with a table and a king-sized Snickers bar.

I could be in Half Moon Bay. Like more and more small cities, from Athens to Corpus Christi, Half Moon Bay provides public wireless access anywhere in its downtown area. You can still get a latte with your e-mail at La Di Da Coffee Shop—but now you can take both to go.

Or, I could be at the mall: not just at a café in any wireless-enabled mall (there are lots) but at the Internet Home Alliance’s experimental “Connection Court” in the Willow Bend Shops in Plano, Texas. Unlike the cubicles at Kinko’s, these are plush, featuring Aeron chairs, cherry oak desks, waiting areas with plasma TVs—and yes, easy access to the food court. Laptops are even available in case you left yours in the car.

Or, I could just be at home, or in Tressider. These are both difficult for me, however, as I don’t really live anywhere in particular, and I haven’t been on campus since February.

So—where am I? Here’s the answer: I started this column yesterday in a Boston bookstore café. Then I spilled green tea on my laptop. It kept working for about a minute, long enough for me to e-mail myself a few files—including a thesis that I was about three hours from presenting—before it sizzled fragrantly to a halt.

Afterwards I relocated to my school’s harshly-lit computer cluster for the night. Around eleven, I decided to get a drink. The vending machine only took my dollar bill after a half-dozen tries, and when at last I pressed the Sprite button, it clanged, then gave me a Coke. This reminds me why I avoid computer clusters (and vending machines, which—speaking of innovation—really ought to accept Paypal, or at least credit cards.)

Fortunately, today my backup laptop arrived from California, and proving that it takes a lot to change a bad habit, I’m at another café drinking tea again.

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In his weekly RPG, Daniel answers to the name Cannister; on the Internet (wherever that happens to be) Daniel answers to dan@demidec.com.